My bid for 15 minutes of fame and a moderately lucrative bathroom book deal

So it's been like two and a half years since my last blog post. I feel that's a good thing. It's a bit of conceit to think that my opinions are of any worth to anyone. It's even more conceited to think that regular prattlings and clever observations will change the world. They won't. Blogs are really just mental masturbation.

So why, you may ask, am I posting again on here? To three followers that are all acquaintances, which means they don't count. Maybe you didn't ask. Frankly I don't care. I'm not writing for you. I'm writing for a simple reason. People seem to be getting bathroom book contracts for this sort of thing and I feel I'm missing out on an opportunity to make money for doing something of little value. I want to cash in. So this shall be my attempt at getting published.

Unfortunately I am terribly lazy and will no doubt get tired of this in six or seven minutes. We'll see what happens.

On The Internet

You've just got to love the masturbation superhighway. This is truly further proof of the indomitable nature of the human spirit. This fantastic technology gives us the potential to put the world's knowledge a few keystrokes away. However it's filled with mostly porn. Why is it that I can do a search for "Leopold and Loeb" (look it up) and come up with 83,700 potentially useful sights, but if I do a search for "buttplug" I get 6,770,000 hits? No, those aren't exaggerations; I just Googled each of those search terms. Just try typing random web addresses sometime and see what you get. Did you know that www.midgets.com is a porn site? The last I checked www.mustard.com and www.meat.com were as porn sites as well. It frightens me to think that at any given moment in time, there must be millions of lonely people desperately beating off at the keyboard. And because of all these people masturbating themselves stupid, I can't do a simple search for anything without ending up with 1,500 extraneous porn sites that for some reason fell under my search heading. At least these people are off the street.