On Really Big Car Crashes

Call me crazy, but for some reason, seeing a car smashed beyond recognition actually causes me to smile. Maybe it's because I know that more than likely, someone was being stupid and got punished for it.

On People Who Make Outlandish Requests of Waitstaff

So a while back I was eating at Chili's for lunch. There's this self-important bitch sitting at a table next to me, having a "power lunch" with three of her equally self important cronies. She orders a "plain chicken breast with some tomato on the side." Well, if I were waiting the table the response would have been "that's nice, too bad you need to pick something off the menu, dummy." However, the waitress was willing to meet this request. She comes out and gives the plate to this woman, who immediately starts complaining that she wanted freshly sliced tomatoes, and was given diced, and that she wanted a plain chicken breast and this one was seasoned. Well sure enough, the manager had to be summoned, and he tried to explain to her that all the chicken gets marinated at the start of the day and there's not much that can be done. However, he won't charge her because she didn't get exactly what she wanted. Fuck her! It obviously wasn't so bad that she didn't finish everything on her plate, the miserable bitch. God, I hope this woman gets cancer right in the middle of her brain.
Look, if you don't like what's on the menu, don't go to the restaurant! And if you just have to make stupid requests, don't be surprised or pissed when your order gets screwed up. Better yet, just stay at home and eat a bullet or some drain cleaner.

Athletic Scholarships

First off, isn't that an oxymoron? So let me get this straight: Student #1 has a 2.75 GPA. Student #2 has a 1.9 GPA but can catch a ball and run fast. So we're going to pay for student #2's education. What kind of bullshit is that? I thought the purpose of college was to expand your knowledge and career skills, and not simply to sell tickets to ball games.
God, this just pisses me off to no end every time I see it happen. I went to college on my own money and student loans, struggling to make ends meet, when all of these sub-moron convicts in training get free rides because they can run the 40 yard dash in under 5 seconds. I say again: Bullshit. It's even better when these bastards choose not to finish college to become eligible for the professional drafts. Screw them! You want to do that? Fine, then every dollar the school has fronted to you is now payable in full before you can leave. And, you have to make a public apology to all the students who couldn't get a scholarship because you were being a schmuck and tying up the money.
That's it. No more money goes to collegiate sports until I start seeing chess team scholarships. Or grants for debaters. Something, anything to stop the proliferation of stupid people in this country. Because, for the most part, that's what athletic scholarships do: Reward the stupid because they can rush for 100 yards a game or shoot solidly from the outside. What a load of crap.