Thursday, March 5, 2009

Haiku Express Vol. 1

Boozy

Dull ache in my head

Feel like I'm going to puke

Drank way too much beer


Beer Goggles

Who's this beside me?

Wasn't this ugly last night

Damn those beer goggles


Waukegan

Teen-age girl with child

Ruins the lives of both of them

Please get on the pill

Monday, March 2, 2009

A Little Something To Help The Emo


In the interest of all those who might be wracked with angst, guilt, anger or sundry overblown emotions, I have made a simple list of important steps to getting over it.

1) Get over it

2) Nobody gives a damn about your little problems and petty insecurities.

3) Anyone who says they truly want to help you is lying; they just want money.

4) Your problems are beyond insignificant compared to the big picture.

5) Quit your whining.

6) Don’t you dare try to blame someone else for your problems. Ultimately, it's always your own damned fault.

7) Nobody really cares about your happiness.

8) Get off your lazy ass and do something other than feel sorry for yourself.

9) Think for yourself, little sheep.

10) Stop bothering everyone.

11) Keep things in perspective; it can and will be a lot worse.


12) Drown your sorrows.

13) Be self destructive. Pierce something; get a tattoo, some permanent souvenir of your
self-loathing.

14) Go outside and take a couple of deep breaths.

15) Don’t even bother with suicide. The world is going to go right on spinning with or without you.