Why is it that I can't go into a coffee house and ask for a cup of coffee anymore? It's a simple enough request. "I'd like a cup of coffee, please." The only variables involved are cream and sugar. Now every pretentious little jerk-off is ordering a "half-caff-double-tall-skim-mocha-quasi-vanilla-neo-frappa-crappa with a frigging side of biscotti. DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL FOR MAKING COFFEE COMPLICATED.
Eventually, the whole smugness of the "coffee scene" is going to cause me to become uncontrollably angry, and when that happens, I'm going to start throwing nuclear hot fast food coffee in people's faces and pelting them with stale cheese Danishes until death ensues.
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